To Achieve Serenity
by ainemairin
Summary: When Kaylee asks Mal to take the crew to Hanora - the beautiful planet of Ice - for Christmas, he agrees to delay returning Inara for another week. But Hanora isn't called beautiful and deadly for nothing... not finishing due to lack of reviews/interest
1. Double D

**To Achieve Serenity**

_**A Browncoat Christmas special**_

"Wash, set course for Hanora," commanded Captain Malcolm Reynolds, who stood with his hands at his hips, looking authoritatively out of the window at the galaxy around them, as if it were his own.

In a way, it was. He had made a home here in space, on board this rickety ship, Serenity. Mal and his ragtag crew each had a special role to play, they each felt like they belonged - even River, who was lost and confused within the construct of her own mind.

Wash's eyes widened, "Hanora? Well, that place _is_ beautiful, but don't you think it's a little dangerous?"

Kaylee rested her head on Wash's shoulder and looked at him cheerfully, "Yeah, but danger's our middle name!" she laughed, "besides, the cap'n promised me a Christmas present, and this is what I want"

Wash spluttered and looked at her like she was a crazy person, "You want to _die?_"

She giggled again, "don't be so melodramatic, Wash…"

Mal rolled his eyes, "Besides, it's on our way to drop Inara off. So… we may as well," he tried to sound dismissive, but Kaylee's eyes dropped to the floor with a burgeoning sense of despair. Mal could never fool her.

Wash handed his miniature dinosaurs to Kaylee to clear some space, and began pushing buttons and pulling levers, adjusting the course for Hanora, "well, buckle your seatbelts, 'cos we're heading into a certain double D!"

Mal and Kaylee looked at him with the same bemused expression.

Wash shrugged, "I meant like, Danger and Death. Not my fault your minds are out with the space trash."

-**To Be Continued-**

**P.S. This will be a fic of *relatively* short chapters leading up to Christmas. It's set just after the last episode of _Firefly _(Objects in Space). Expect to see heaps of Mal/Inara and Kaylee/Simon, and a bit of Wash/Zoe :)**


	2. We're done, and I just wish I could stay

Chapter Two – We're done, and I just wish I could stay

Inara cursed in Chinese as she dropped a bunch of clothes on the floor, missing the suitcase where it should have fallen. She rested her head on the back of her hand, wondering why she felt so sad about leaving. She should be pleased, she was furthering her career. She swallowed the surge of sadness that threatened to boil over as she gently held a framed 3D hologram of Mal. Inara traced her fingers along the image, knowing she could never truly tell him how much she would miss him.

She shut her eyes as her mind flashed back to the scene just a few days before.

"_I learned something from Nandi. Not just from what happened but from her. The family she made, the strength of her love for them, is what kept them together." _Faces - Kaylee's childish smile, River's deep brown eyes, Jayne's booming voice…

"_When you live with that kind of strength, you get tied to it." _Book's devotion to God, Zoe and Wash's devoted love, Simon's intelligence.

"_You can't break away, and you never want to."_ Mal staring at her, mouth agape, as she spoke those words, wanting to interject, wanting to tell her to stay. She almost wished he would.

"_There's something I should have done a long while ago. And I'm sorry for both of us that it took me this long. I'm leaving."_

Inara felt a tear trailing down her cheek, and brushed it aside.

"Hey."

"_Aiya_!" Inara cursed, jumping from shock as Mal entered her shuttle. She quickly regained composure, and stuffed the hologram under a pillow.

"Busy packing, I see," Mal attempted to initiate conversation, but Inara was in no mood to speak, least of all to him.

"Yes. Evidently, Mal." Inara attempted to make herself look busy, not meeting his gaze. After a few minutes she stopped, "is there something you wanted to say? Or did you just want to come here one more time uninvited to annoy the _tsway-niou _out of me?"

"Speaking of which…," Mal began.

Inara froze and shot him with an exasperated glare, "Speaking of _tsway-niou _or 'one more time'?"

Mal sighed, "It's Kaylee, Inara. She wants to stop at Hanora on the way, you know, for Christmas."

"I told you, Mal. I must leave as soon as possible," their eyes met for a moment too long, and that silence spoke of regret. Inara was the first to break it off.

"Besides, we don't even celebrate Christmas. Even now, it's a commercial holiday."

Mal shrugged, "it's supposed to symbolize hope and joy"

"And love," Inara added, without thinking. There was a pause, as Mal stepped closer to her and fought with himself not to stroke her hair, which curled in dark tendrils around her face.

"Book is encouraging it too, of course."

"Of course," Inara replied, suddenly feeling lightheaded. She just needed to distance herself from this man, who was making it so difficult for her to move on.

"Are you alright?" he asked, almost tenderly, his bright blue eyes compassionate.

Inara waved a hand, "I'm fine. I just… I need to pack. The sooner the better. We can go to Hanora, but that's my last stop before I leave. Promise me that."

_You know I can't promise that, Inara. I need you to stay_.

"Of course," Mal replied robotically, turning on his heel and leaving the shuttle, where Inara sank down on the bed and cried.


End file.
